The Edge of Logos

I’ve been back in San Diego for a few days now, and it’s astonishing to have free time as Christmas approaches. Dad was in town with my uncle Tom on the 20th, so we had an early family dinner at my grandparents’. Tomorrow he heads off to Boracay for a month long trip. Since then I’ve occupied myself in fairly prosaic but seriously neglected things. I transplanted two fan palms I’d been nurturing from the garden in the back to the front, and actually met a neighbor that I’d never spoken to before. And I’ve been doing a *lot* of reading in general and more specifically, continued research for the book. Also getting back in touch with friends and family that I normally never seem to have time for. This is a good time of year for that, maybe the best.

Here are a few photos from the Big Sur trip. This was on the journey back south on the US 1. Happy Holidays.

big sur, family, friends, nature, san diego, travel

Day 1 of my adventures took me up to LA to visit Sharon. Turns out by coincidence she had a party that evening, so I caught up with a bunch of other friends in LA, and made a few new ones, which was great. But the plan was never to go no further than LA, so the following morning I needed to decide where to next. Sharon suggested: why not Big Sur? She’d done a ton of research on the area for a trip she’d taken earlier and knew where I could get a little cabin with no advance reservation. I made a few phone calls that morning, and voila. All set. I’m here till the 17th.

The Big Sur drive from LA would be over 6 hours factoring traffic, according to the Google, so I needed to get moving if I wanted to get there at a reasonable time that night. I quickly reloaded the van and after goodbyes, headed up the 101.

The rain was torrential, as expected. Traffic existed but wasn’t as bad as it could have been. As I got distance from LA, the scenery got better and better. I happened to time driving through Pismo Beach just as the clouds broke briefly and a gorgeous sunset emerged.

Darkness came on fast thereafter, and the rain got heavier and the road windier. There had been many little rockslides and rocks ranging from golf ball to beach ball sizes were on the northbound lane of the US 1, sometimes in both lanes. In the dark rain they came on fast, and I dodged. I hit one with a wheel. It was about the size of a tennis ball and when the van hit, it made an impressive WHAM. Rocks, not mud. Got it.

Weaving and meandering, and rediscovering the value of high beams, which are really awesome on the van now with the new composite beam headlamps, I got to the cabin. I was running on about 4 hours of sleep, so I basically conked out once I took possession.

And onto today. It’s really pretty out here and the cabin is just what I wanted, primarily: quiet. I’ve been incredibly productive writing all day; the words are just flowing out of me and I feel more confident about the success of this project than ever before. I made particular progress on the chapters applying semiotics to computer science and on the Antikythera mechanism. I’ve got a very good start on the outline of the book, so the overall structure and flow is coming along too.

I’ve been having trouble communicating out here; phone service is mostly nonexistent–I get a feeble bar of 2G once in a while–and WiFi is only in the cafe, closes at 2pm. I found a restaurant nearby that has WiFi now, which is cool. At the moment I’m eating dinner at the Fernwood.

Been missing Heather though. Being alone is just what I wanted and neededfor this phase of the trip, but I still do.

friends, nature, philosophy, technology, travel, writing

Of late I’ve been taking a little dip into the art world, just a bit. But first, some background. Sinclair Stratton, an artist and a good friend, gave Heather and me this painting as a wedding gift:

"Fierce Love," by Sinclair Stratton.

It’s a watercolor portrait of us that she painted from a photo that Bil Zelman took of us from an earlier photo shoot at his studio. It was an astounding gift, and we love it. Normally, it’s on prominent display in our living room. Not today though.

Today it’s out on loan, and you’ll find it at the International Artexpo in New York. Sinclair is out there right now, and this work is among others she has on display there in her gallery. She’s out there to get herself noticed, and I hope it helps. (And yes, as a matter of fact I do think it’s pretty damn cool a portrait of us is out there!)

This all came about because of Sinclair and another friend of mine, April Game. She is the CEO/Executive Director of the San Diego Fine Art Society. I think it’s going to transform the San Diego art world, and I’m proud to be a member of its board of directors. Anyway, April and Sinclair asked if we would loan them this painting. After a little trepidation, we agreed. April is out there with Sinclair, and to judge by the SDFAS tweets, things are going pretty well. Good luck guys!

art, cool, events, friends, heather, new york

From a chat I had with my ex-girlfriend Kelly Thomas the other day, regarding the death of my mother the day before. Edited for clarity.

Kelly: Jason, are you online?

Jason: Yeah, I’m here. How are you?

Kelly: I’m ok, I’m really sorry to hear about your mom.

Jason: Thanks. It was a long time coming. Fortunately I got to visit her two weeks ago to say goodbye.

Karen Wells, my mother. 14 December 1945 - 12 February 2009.

Kelly: I know she’s been sick for a long time but its still hard. I’m glad you were able to visit her.

Jason: Me too.

Kelly: So when is the funeral?

Jason: I don’t know exactly. Dad says the service will be in the next few days.

Kelly: How’s your dad doing?

Jason: He doesn’t let it out much, but I can tell he’s really hurting. I hope he feels relief.

Kelly: Me too, It does get better, but takes awhile. I still miss my dad.

Jason: I bet.

Mom’s been going, going, gone for a long time though. Once I understood she couldn’t be there for my wedding, that’s when it really sank in that she’s just not there anymore.

Kelly: So how are things otherwise? Are you working today or take the day off?

Jason: I haven’t decided. I’m actually doing okay, basically. I’ll probably go in later.

Kelly: I think after my dad died I was in shock. And then it hit me at the funeral. But I guess you were there so I’m probably not telling you something you don’t already know!

Jason: When I think about her, it doesn’t really hurt. Sometimes it does if I remember how she was a long time ago.

But when I went to see her… man. She was in a cognitive twilight. Some bit of her was there, but not much. That was upsetting to see. Most of who she was was gone already.

Kelly: I like to think that when my dad died he was finally at peace.

Jason: That’s a nice thought. I’m just glad Mom’s long darkness is over.

I know if someone had told her this was to be her fate, she would have been horrified. Especially because of the impact it had on the rest of the family.

Kelly: My dad too. I think he was in denial about it though. But maybe that’s part of why we don’t know the future, eh? We’d never hold out for it. Ok it’s not always that bad.

Jason: Heh.

Kelly: I don’t know how you feel about the whole spiritual stuff, but even if her mind wasn’t there I think her spirit was. The body is always just an impermanent condition.

Jason: I look at it this way. Who my mom was came from her mind, from her brain. Mostly people think of the mind as a uniform thing, but it’s not that way at all. From what little I understand of neuroscience, it’s structured in an unbelievably complicated way. When she had the brain tumor, some of those structures were damaged or destroyed. And then the radiation therapy, which did kill the tumor, caused the rest of the gradual but vast damage to her brain that ultimately killed her.

Kelly: So what happens when you die?

Jason: I think we’re all part of the world. We’re natural. We are born in nature. We don’t pop into existence from any ethereal plane. Our mothers give birth to us.

And we die naturally too. Once something in the world no longer exists, it no longer exists. The part of the world that was her is now gone, to be other things now.

Kelly: Like what?

Jason: Lots of things. Our memories of her. Or things that she created or caused, like my existence or Dave’s. Or the effect she had on Dad, or any relatives, or anyone who ever knew her. And her body, the physical expression of her, returns to simpler things.

Kelly: I think that’s really beautiful.

Jason:

Kelly: I made you smile!

Jason: I never needed a separate spiritual world. The natural world is more than enough for me.

Kelly: Sometimes it’s so beautiful I can barely stand it.

experience, friends, loss, nature

Tomorrow Heather and I head up to LA for a very full weekend. Saturday evening we’re going to Shoghi and Lily’s wedding work party, just to give them a hand. They’re such a great couple, and their wedding will be a very happy day.

But what dominates the weekend is the BIL conference. The conference runs all day Saturday and Sunday. We’re driving up to Long Beach early morning tomorrow, and I’m psyched about it. If you don’t know about it, it’s a counterpoint to the more famous TED conference, which is happening at the same time–right now–and is similar, save the choosy attitude about speakers and the $6000 attendance fee. It’s about sharing cool ideas.

BIL is free to attend, volunteer-driven, very DIY; anyone with something to say can volunteer to speak. Not to mention the calls for the more quotidian, things like drinks and snacks, folding chairs, etc. They use a wiki to track things, which (of course) anyone can edit. The participatory flavor reminds me of Burning Man.

I just printed out the schedule and there are plenty of interesting talks. But the best part for me is that I know so many people there! At least seven speakers and one of the organizers are friends of mine, and I know I’ll see other familiar faces in the crowd. It’s practically a reunion, and interestingly, most of these folks I have encountered on the playa. Anyway I’m looking forward to reconnecting and hearing out some interesting ideas.

experience, friends, los angeles, technology